“Happy Holidays!” They say. What’s so happy and merry about a time that forces the memory of loneliness, death, and unmet desires for some?

Here it is, the end of the year and what’s there to expect? Holidays are traditionally a time where family and friends gather together to eat, enjoy hallmark movies, and be with one another. A time where people’s, especially children’s, hearts are filled with joy and excitement because gifts are thrusting from under their Christmas trees. Here we are with Thanksgiving right behind us and the holiday season vastly approaching. It is depressing to realize that your reality may not be what it’s all hyped up to be, or even what social media has hyped it to be. All of a sudden, we’re forced to accept those relationships we once had or those into which we were born may no longer be the relationships that nurture us.

Often individuals with close family/friend related-deaths, family stress, unmet expectations, difficult children, financial woes and even greater adversities find this hard to grasp. The question may arise, Why me? Overwhelming feelings and thoughts of depression and stress may emerge. If you are or have ever experienced these feelings, please understand that they are typical feelings to experience. You are human and you have full rights to have feelings.  It is only when those emotions cause your daily functioning to drastically alter or become uncontrollable that you should be alarmed and take action and seek professional help to manage those symptoms.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

The first thing you must do is PLAN. Although it may be hard to plan for the worst, it is far better to plan ahead. Disappointments are unmet expectations. The cliché “hope for the best and plan for the worst” allows you to both accept your reality and be in control of your expectations. We change how we feel by changing how we think and what we think.

In addition to changing how you think, cultivate other practices that will influence positive feelings. Some of my favorites practices are:

• Surround yourself with positive social groups.
• Practice acts of self-care.
• Get in tune with your spiritual healer.
• Remain active.

Take charge and be in control of the things in which you have control over. Don’t forget it’s ok to allow your emotions to manifest, however, if possible, learn to control them. If you find yourself having a hard time learning how to control your emotions, be proactive and seek help from a professional, such as a Licensed Professional Counselor. You may find that by just talking with someone about those daunting issues may cause a relief mentally and physically. Just think of it as a way to unplug and be free. With these few skills and thought changing activities, your time during the holidays may be less stressful and less depressing.

Peace & Love!