I am a Counselor by profession. I have studied and learned by experience the importance of not allowing circumstances or negative thoughts toward something or someone to take over your life, but here I am 12 years later, broken in thought. No, this isn’t the first time I have felt stressed; however it is the first time I have felt so lost and broken. I am totally a Type A personality and pride myself on taking care of everyone and everything. What a joy it is to give someone the best advice in a time of need or to extend the hand of faith. I love to make people happy, laugh and to see them stand up or get out of their mess.
I LIVE TO INSPIRE.
If you notice, I spoke about what I do for others and until recently didn’t realize how empty I had become. The mask I ask everyone else to take off I picked up and started wearing. I now understand why people put it on. It makes you feel as if you are invisible; you no longer have to burden anyone with your unanswered questions, your unhappiness, or distant dreams. You start to believe that no one really cares to hear you rambling over and over again about how unfulfilled you feel. So wearing the mask became a habit for me, and we all know that the longer you do something the more it becomes a part of who you are. This unknown place is rather uncomfortable and began a slow decline in my health, thoughts, words and actions.
I AM HERE – BROKEN IN THOUGHT
We all know when we are not at our best, and as my OBGYN who became my therapist the other day reminded me, it is all about “TIME.” How much time are you willing to give to stress? Yes, that is why I am experiencing these challenges in my health and why I feel so empty and broken. Our bodies are so remarkable that they send an alarm to alert us when something is out of whack. It is up to us to accept the things we cannot change and then decide how we are going to get up from this dark place. I didn’t realize how much time had passed and how much attention I had given to this crisis until I hit the wall and had nowhere to go; humanly I had lost all my controls and felt defeated. It is so necessary to stay connected to a power source. Whenever you feel distant or empty seek help. Sometimes you just need someone to talk some things through with, a change in environment, or just to close the chapter on old relationships and cultivate new friendships. Whatever you do, remember “Thoughts become things.”
I have pushed the “fresh start” button
During this process I found myself praying, but not getting an answer, talking but not feeling heard or understood, seeking purpose and not feeling fulfilled, exercising but not seeing results. I was just struggling and gasping for peace and joy while feeling guilty for taking time for self, ignoring the door bell because time alone is important and a host of other “thoughts” had tried to take over. Through this, I realized a few things: everything happens in its time, your family and friends do care, you don’t have to walk through this alone no matter how strong you are, and stay on your knees – the answer will come.
April is Stress Awareness month and there is lots of information out there to help you identify some of the indicators that you are at risk, already stressed or becoming ill because of untreated symptoms. Be wise and read them. Take action to helping make a better you. As for me I am holding on to a word and a song. The scripture “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5 has become so alive to me in this moment of searching that I now sing loudly, you raise me up.
“You raise me up so that I can stand on mountains
You raised me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on shoulders.
You raised me up to more than I can be. “
Sometimes we don’t know when we are stressed, so before your body tells you – take time for yourself daily. Get up a little earlier for prayer and a word, take a walk and feel the sun on your face, laugh out loud even if your co-workers joke isn’t that funny, eat well, and drink lots of water. Whatever it is you have to do to make yourself happy, just do it! The world is a better place when I am Loving On Me! You should do the same.