This summer, I took some time to reflect and learn from my relationships. A lot of time was spent exploring my awareness in the area of love and connections to myself and others, with a strong emphasis on how I choose to navigate intimacy in my personal life. Have you experienced your relationships calling you to take time and work hard within them? Venus retrograde may have been an inspirational factor for you, too.
There have been many relationships in my past that left me feeling disrespected, let down or not valued for my true worth. I would give people my all, and they would give me scraps of themselves. I spent a lot of time in the past wondering why I kept attracting people who took advantage of me. Did I not deserve to have people in my life who truly loved me?
My attachments to my ideals surrounding relationships and love have been an extremely triggering process in my personal growth. I have always had a desire to have a strong connection with the people who are closest to me. Because of my own traumatic experiences with abandonment in childhood, I had developed an unrealistic expectation around what someone’s behavior should look like in order to satisfy my desire for intimacy. When my expectation is not being met, my ego jumps into the perception that I am not respected or valued. This presents the opportunity for my pain body to awaken the smothering effects of low self-worth and relinquishing my personal power. This trigger has been so strong for me at times that it pulled me completely out of the present moment into a whirlwind of past demons and hurt.
If we take a moment to step outside of the realm of personal perception, the truth is that a relationship is a direct reflection of an aspect of the life we have created for ourselves. When we don’t show ourselves compassion and self-love during the rawest moments of vulnerability, we give in to fear and eliminate the opportunity to heal from trauma. Further suppressing this change that needs to happen in order for us to evolve can keep us stuck. We begin to attract the same relationships continuously.
Having the ability to be open and aware that someone is reflecting the patterns that keep us out of the vibrational alignment that matches our desires is a powerful tool for growth; especially when the results of that acknowledgment and acceptance will completely alter the paradigm of how we give and receive love.
Coming into the fall, I finally have a grip on the roots of my programmed mindset, and through equanimous observation, self-awareness and patience, I can begin to attract and sustain more relationships that nourish my spirit, starting with the one I have with myself.
How are you responding to your reflections in others? Let us know in the comments section below.