Once again I am working on a modification of my divorce decree. I have been divorced for almost 8 years and I was never going to be one of those statistics. I mean, my parents have been married for over 50 years! Surely its genetic… But as I answer all the questions, find all the dates of this and that and search through all my files, I cannot help but to be overwhelmed with gratitude.
There are many reasons why I got divorced, but none of those reasons included wanting to be with someone new. In fact, I was adamant that I would not date or seek out a partner because I needed to focus on taking care of my two children and making more money at my current job to support them and myself. So that is what I did. I poured myself into work and focused on my children when I wasn’t at work.
I never believed that I would have found my perfect match right there, right in front of me, the whole time. My now husband and I met at work. He and I were the only two single people on our team and just became the very best of friends. I left my job to start my own company and our relationship grew into something I never imagined would happen in my life. Everything that happened, all the steps, the pain, the struggles I had managed through up to that point, had brought me there to start a new life with him.
I believe there is a plan and a purpose in pretty much everything. I am a very optimistic and hopeful person, and I believe that God does direct my path when I let him. Most of my coming of age into mid-life has been spent operating under the premise of work hard, be nice and all good things come back to you. When I got divorced, I knew my life would still be great and fulfilling, especially since I was surrounded and supported with the greatest of family, friends and neighbors. I had been in an almost 20 year relationship and I knew for a fact that what I needed more than anything was to not be concerned about being with someone new, unless that someone new was me.
In those years before I starting dating my now husband, I learned that in order to not repeat history, I must understand it and learn from it. In order to be in a relationship again, I had to be the kind of person that I wanted to be with. I wanted to be with someone who was a Christian and had a strong character. Someone that was fun and adventurous, that told the truth always, that cared for and loved my children and was respectful to everyone including the waiter, especially the waiter.
I found my someone new in me first and then later in my husband. He builds me up and sees me better than I see myself. Always lifting, always empowering, always cheering me on. God smiled on me a year ago when we said our vows. I knew that he not only meant the words, but would take action in supporting the words.
For all the women I know and don’t know that are searching for their perfect match, the perfect person is out there…and that person might just be you first.