Have you ever prayed really hard for something, put your all into it- I mean blood, sweat and tears- and finally got it? That’s kind of where I am right now. And even though I am overwhelmed with gratitude and elated for the opportunity, sometimes fear starts to creep in. Thoughts like:
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“What if I can’t do this?”
“What if I fail?”
“I don’t want to let myself or my loved ones down.”
Have you ever been there? Well, I’m there. I am immensely grateful, but a little overwhelmed. God blessed me, and as amazed as I am, there is the smallest corner in the back of my mind hoping He didn’t overestimate me. I know deep down that He didn’t =)
We can’t stop these thoughts from creeping up, but we can choose how we respond to them. We just have to own our power to choose.
Which brings me to our choices: Faith or Fear.
Forget Everything And Run
Face Everything And Rise
Faith has been a reoccurring theme in my life for the past few years. The older, well, more mature, I get, the more I realize that it will be a constant in my life, not just a lesson or a theme. I think faith is truly an everyday choice, a conscious decision to choose to believe that God will do what He said He would do. It may not be what we want, when we want, or how we want it, but He promised us that He would do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. He has reassured us that if He takes care of the sparrows, then we can be certain He is taking care of us.
Now, my relationship with faith has grown exponentially, but it is still no walk in the park. Last year around this time, my heart was broken. I thought I was heading to Barcelona for a full-time MBA program at one of the best schools in the world, but God had other plans. I was so disheartened and almost lost faith. I was angry. I was disappointed and hurt. I also felt dumb because I believed so much and prayed so hard and things still didn’t work out.
I let myself feel those feelings, sulk a little bit, and then I got back on my grind for school. About 6 months after my big let-down, I realized that God didn’t let me go because I wasn’t ready. I had a lot of work to do on myself. I had to bloom where I was planted and show Him that He could trust me with a little so He could give me more. I am blessed to say I have been accepted into an amazing MBA program. I am elated!!!!
Even with this elation, that little corner somewhere in the back of my mind tries to revert to the fearful and negative thinking. Instead of believing the lies and letting them bring me down or paralyze me, I’m choosing to face them. This is an everyday commitment. We can choose to go beyond them. They don’t have to become a roadblock to our dreams. Don’t let these lies be the only thing keeping you from your destiny. Jump. God’s got you.