Lately I’ve been noticing a trend in all of my conversations. I’ll be catching up with a friend, or discussing current events in their life, and all I hear is the “S” word…. No, not thaaat “S” word. I’ve been hearing “should” entirely too often, so I started exploring what this “should” actually is and where it comes from.
During my exploration of this “should” epidemic, I had a deep discussion with one of my close friends. She kept saying that she felt bad because she didn’t respond to a situation the way she “should” have and complained that she is not where she “should” be in her life right now. I was perplexed because she is extremely accomplished. This conversation led me to examine the “shoulds” of my own life, and after great self-evaluation, I realized that I apply the same parameters to my life almost daily. I “should” be more productive. I’m “supposed to” be doing this, or going there, or I “should” feel a certain way about something. That’s when it hit me: if we live our lives by these societal taught but self-imposed “shoulds” and “supposed to’s”, then we’ll never figure out who we truly are. We’ll never know how sweet life can really be because we are limiting ourselves to what we think we should be doing instead of growing into who we really are.
This word “should” is actually quite funny to me. It outlines our ideal place in life, our reactions and actions, and how we feel about ourselves, where we are, and what we are doing…. But who laid down these laws? Why is it the purpose of our existence to fulfill them?
This has to stop! Right now. Instead, let us live our lives with the intention of chasing our dreams, doing what makes us happy, and sharing love and gratitude everywhere we go. Now that is something we “should” be doing.
Here are a few tricks I use when I get a bad case of the “shoulds” or “supposed to’s”:
- Remind yourself that you are exactly where God wants you to be in your life. It might not be quite where you want to be (yet), but thank God it’s not where you used to be.
- If you have to question if you “should be” doing anything, take a step back and evaluate the situation with the big picture lens.
- Go with your gut. You have instincts for a reason. If you make a mistake, so what!? Not only does failure build character, but these situations usually make the best testimonies.
- Write down the most important things in the world to you. Whatever you are thinking, doing or feeling aligns with these goals and important pieces of your life. If not, then let it go.
So are YOU ready? Let’s stand together and commit to shake off the “shoulds”. You’ll be better off in the end!
Felicia Burkley says
Yessss! Love this.
Carlie Carpio says
Thank you Fefe! I’m still working on my list. Hugs =)
karen says
What a beautiful ,inspiring young woman. How lucky we are ,as your family to watch you grow !
Carlie Carpio says
Thank you so much Aunt KK!