How often have you heard another woman say something unkind about a beautiful woman that she sees and doesn’t even know? I have heard women say such things as, “She thinks she’s cute,” or “She’s overrated,” or even “She’s ok, but she’s no Beyonce.” I say to people who have thoughts like this: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!
Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbors and build them up, not tear them down? When you see a beautiful woman walking down the street, compliment her instead of spewing nasty remarks of jealousy and ill will. Negative thoughts and perceptions about other women that a person doesn’t even know says a lot about the person thinking the thoughts. It really screams INSECURITY!
It often surprises me that women can be so mean towards another woman just because she is beautiful. Take some of that “hater” mentality and use it for good. The more beautiful you see yourself, the less intimidated you should be of another beautiful woman.
How about rethinking and using positive thoughts like, “She’s really pretty,” or “I love her hair. It has so much body and bounce. Maybe I’ll ask her what salon and hairstylist she visits.” A compliment says more about the person that is giving it than receiving it. Life is a big boomerang. The more compliments you give away, the more compliments you’ll see directed back to you. When you hear of people who constantly have negative thoughts of themselves, they are really crying out for positive attention. They desire to look and feel beautiful, but instead of getting the emotional help that they need to feel secure about themselves, they find it easier to take potshots at someone who does exude what they desire to have – confidence.
Here are a few suggestions that you can give to someone who you see spewing negativity towards another woman:
1. As she begins to say negative things about another woman, stop her in her tracks, not by putting her down but by giving her a compliment. It’s very hard to keep saying negative things about someone when you are the receiver of compliments.
2. When she unloads her negative thoughts of another woman, do the opposite. Find a reason to give the other person a compliment. Again, positive talk drowns out negative words.
3. Listen intently to the negative woman to find out what her real insecurity is all about and in a kind but indirect way, give some suggestions of things that she can do to make her feel comfortable enough with herself to like and love on herself.
4. Speak highly of yourself. Birds of a feather flock together. Tell them stories of how you were able to build yourself up and things you overcame that helped you to like and even love yourself.
5. Start her morning off by sending words of encouragement to her on a daily basis. The morning time is the most important time to set the pace for how you will respond to many situations. Make her your personal project to help her get the hater out of her.
6. If you know she is negative, beat her to the punch and speak positive of another. It will make her uncomfortable about being Debbie Downer.
Speaking to someone’s insecurities helps them to be better in every area of their life. They no longer have that long, drawn out look that speaks before they open their mouths. Now, they exude a new found beauty that only comes from getting to know and like yourself. Yes, feeling beauty on the inside helps to show the beauty on the outside.
One must learn to have good positive self-talk. As the old saying goes, you are who you believe you are. If someone can’t appreciate your beauty, it’s not your responsibility to succumb to their vision of you. With a great big smile, let your inner voice speak loud and clear: Don’t hate me because I have learned to appreciate who I am.
Despite who society deems is beautiful, you are beautiful in the creation that God made you. Yes, you are beautiful in the size, shape and shade of color that God made you. It is OK to enhance who you are by getting a great hairstyle, or a manicure, or even a makeover. Just don’t hate the woman in the mirror. If you do, you will have a problem seeing another woman the way God sees them!