Have you ever felt like your life is like a boat, traveling uncharted waters where the world shows you all its beauty…and its wrath? In the beginning, you are a novice. Then you slowly learn how to steer and take charge of your own sails. You come inland to discover a new place and space in your life, but in the distance you see storm clouds. You don’t believe they’ll ever come your way. But they do.

Moments throughout my 43 years of life have swept me up into hurricanes of fear, uncertainty and anguish so deep that I could hardly breathe. Just when I thought I couldn’t hold on any longer, the eye of the storm would deceptively bring a sense of calm and blue skies attempting to break through dark clouds.

In the stillness, I would exhale. “Ah…maybe things will get better.”

The stillness would never last long because it was only a matter of time when the winds would pick up again. Unknowingly, the anchor of His love was holding me and keeping me safe.

Repeated conversations with myself went like this:

“Here we go again. What is it now? Why is this happening? Will there ever be peace? How do I break the cycle? How can I serve others if I can’t even “serve” myself?”

How many of you know exactly what I’m talking about?

Recently, I came across the marquee of the little neighborhood Waterview Baptist Church that always holds a big statement. This latest one got my attention:

God uses the rainstorms of life to heal the drought in your soul.

“Whoa…OK God, I know you’re talking to me,” I said to myself.

We all have our storms, but do we all have anchors? For me, God’s love is my main anchor (Hebrews 6:19). But it took me a long time to figure that out. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had many blessings all throughout my life for which I am beyond grateful. And I’ve always believed in God. But childhood experiences shaped my mindset and led me to catch the disease to please, grow up too fast, have a superficial faith, burn the candle at both ends, and most importantly, not love myself enough.

I’ve always been a glass-is-half-full person. My close friends and family will vouch for me. But they’ll probably also tell you that I accepted the unacceptable in my life for too long. By no fault of their own, generations before me didn’t know any better to raise me to love myself and to command the utmost respect for myself. I was always trying to fit my will into His plan versus live His will for my life.

Time and time again, the storms would rage, and my anchor in Him would still hold.

Last year, my daughter presented me with the greatest, most divinely appointed birthday gift of all time. Besides the fact that she’s my greatest gift of all, she is also a typical teenager who makes me question if I’m making a difference in her life and if I’m doing anything right in my mission to break the cycle of our past. As an amazing visual arts magnet student, she answered my question. God spoke through her to remind me that I am doing a good job. She wrote:

“Dear Momma, you are the anchor that keeps me grounded…your faith and strength in God keep me going.”

Today, I am Loving on Me. Every tear, heartbreak and sleepless night has brought forth the unveiling of an unstoppable woman. I am not even the same person I was a few years ago. I am unstoppable. I am stronger, more clear-headed and free than I’ve ever been in my life. Without a doubt, I wouldn’t be here sharing my soul with you if I had not experienced the storms.

I still want to set sail in my boat daily into unknown waters, waiting with excitement to see what else God has in store for me and how he’s going to continue shaping me into the woman He created me to be. The difference now is that I have my anchor. Do you have yours?

P.S. Here is a sample of my playlist and book list that inspires me. I hope it will inspire you, too. Enjoy!

Music
•    Flood by Jars of Clay
•    Oceans by Hillsong United
•    Stronger by Mandisa
•    Survivor by Destiny’s Child
•    A Beautiful Day by India Arie
•    I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash
•    Respect by Aretha Franklin
•    Blessin’ Me by Avery Sunshine
•    The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert
•    Hallelujah by Johnnyswim
•    Diamonds by Johnnyswim
•    Live While We’re Young by Johnnyswim
•    Take the World by Johnnyswim
•    To Be Real by Cheryl Lynn
•    Beautiful by Mercy Me
•    The Hurt & The Healer by Mercy Me
•    I Look to You by Whitney Houston

Books
•    The Bible
•    Streams in the Desert Daily Devotional (I’m reading it for the fourth time!)
•    The Confident Woman book and devotional by Joyce Meyer
•    Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
•    Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
•    Undaunted by Christine Caine