It was a chilly Thursday morning. I struggled to get out of bed. I was really wishing for some extra minutes of sleep. Suddenly I realized it was my birthday! I was 40 years old! They say life begins at 40!
My thoughts are instantly drawn to 10 years ago. Where was I 10 years ago? What has happened in the last 10 years?
I vividly remember turning 30 years old. I was a young medical doctor living at the doctors’ quarters. I was working at the University Teaching Hospital in Lusaka, Zambia. Our country was undergoing a raging HIV epidemic like many other countries in Sub-Saharan Africa. Anti-retroviral drugs were not freely available in our health facilities. This made work so depressing most times as we lost a lot of patients to AIDS. Perhaps what really stands out about my 30th birthday was an outing I was invited to by my friend and her partner. What I remember most about this outing was the discussion with my friend’s partner. He wanted to know what I really wanted to do with my life. When was I getting married? How long was I going to live at the doctors’ quarters? Did I have a career progression plan? These questions were made in comparison with what my friend had achieved. I really felt attacked and offended with these questions.
That night I went to bed and thought about that discussion. I realized the discussion was really about what I did not have that others had. Instead of taking offense, I decided to look at the positive side to this conversation. Yes, the discussion was somehow hurtful but what could I learn from it? Where was I going with my life? It cannot forever be business as usual.
A year later, I made a transition from a government job to an International NGO job. I got a job as a research medical officer in HIV prevention research. You have to understand that working for the government in my setting is much more preferred as it has more job security. Moving to an unpredictable NGO world was not taken lightly by most of close family and friends. Researching a disease that has taken away my patients as well as close family and friends was fulfilling. Three years into my job, I went to Amsterdam for my masters’ in Public Health. I returned to Zambia immediately after finishing. I joined the cervical cancer prevention program. It was a programme in its infancy, but I loved the challenge. Not much awareness was going on the disease yet it was the most common cancer in our country claiming lives of many women. The programme has grown to be a national programme and the largest on the African continent. Two years after my return, I got married and we have a lovely daughter, Bernice.
Today, I really want to encourage somebody out there. You might be me at 30 years old. You have so many things you feel you have not achieved. It could be that people around you are reminding you of how far behind you are. Things can change in a moment, but we have to be the change we want to see in our lives. Truly, it’s not over until God says it’s over!
Change involves making deliberate decisions in our lives. It also means truly looking deep within ourselves and finding our passion. What do we truly love to do? Not what society wants us to do. It means standing by our decisions when others think we are crazy.
I look back and I am thankful for a wonderful circle of family and friends who truly are the wind beneath my wings. When you are on stage people only see you, but there are people who have stood by you and encouraged you to move on. They are the real heroes because that’s where you go when you’re happy, sad, whining, etc. They see the real you and speak to your heart.
I am truly looking forward to 50 because God has massive things in store for me. I have a strong passion for women’s health and education for the African continent. In Him (God) I live, move and have my being. Nothing I have accomplished has been me alone but Him taking me through every turn.
Ten years ago, all that I have achieved looked impossible to a large extent. “It always looks impossible until it is done,” said Nelson Mandela.
This is truly from my heart to yours! Happy transition!
Doreen Grant says
Empowering. Thanks foe sharing Sharon.