I will not act a fool with you or because of you! That’s the refrain that played over and over in my head last week as I sat at the Apple store, waiting for my iMac computer they had promised would be ready an hour and a half earlier.
Silently smoldering I dared not open my mouth, else the ire that had built up over the many days of intolerable customer service would have come spewing forth like a mighty geyser. No one would have had a clue what finally sent me over the edge. All they’d have known was that I’d lost it.
I sat tapping my foot until 20 minutes after the store closed, when a young man finally brought my computer out. I appreciate your patience, he said. I heard this has been quite a journey for you. Thank you for being so calm.
Calm? I had prayed so hard for patience that I think God may have temporarily sedated me. I looked at him and said, Oh, I’m not going to get upset and lose it. I am, however, going to follow-up with someone to document the experience. This has been the worst customer service I have ever received from Apple.
Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks. “Oh, good. Well I’m glad you didn’t lose it. Because that’s how they expect us to act.”
Now because he and I were both African-American, I assumed he meant that’s how they –meaning his white team members – expect us – meaning black customers – to behave. To yell, scream and cause a scene when things have gone too far.
But that’s not me, and not for the reasons he suggested. As tired as I was I turned around to look him square in the face and said, I could care less what they expect. Acting up would be below my standards of what I expect for myself.
He looked so surprised it actually made me chuckle. As we started walking toward my car he finally looked at me and said you know what, good for you.
Driving home, I was so grateful that I had stayed calm throughout the whole ordeal. Believe me, I take no credit for it. But for the grace of God I would have told them just how I felt using words I’d later regret. And truthfully if I told you the details of my experience, you’d probably say they deserved it.
But look what an opportunity I would have missed had I lived down to someone else’s expectations! For a whole host of reasons, that young man needed a fresh perspective. And I’m so grateful God chose me to be the messenger.
Sometimes, we forget that we are all role models. Indeed, our very lives are to be examples of love, joy, peace and self-control. But there are moments when people will take us there. I mean to the very edge of our sanity. The question is what will we do when we get there?
Now I have to be honest. This is not always my strong suit. It takes a lot to get me to the edge, but once I’m there I’m about 60/40. 60% of the time I can handle it with dignity and grace. The other 40% of the time I have to ask for forgiveness.
I know I need to work on it, and I am. But I believe in being honest about our struggles, especially my own. Because until we learn to love ourselves, as we are right now, we haven’t a prayer of becoming our better selves.
And like all of you, I want to be better. I want to be a light bearer and a peacemaker, a living example of God’s love. And despite all of my shortcomings I believe I can, because no one can “take me there” unless I get on the train.
This whole situation reminded me once again that even in the midst of negative circumstances we have the opportunity to be a positive influence. By living up to our own standards, rather than down to the expectations of others, we can raise the bar for everyone around us.
Let’s not let someone else’s foolishness cause us to act a fool. In the midst of chaotic circumstances, let us be the calming force that changes the course. After all, we are to be the light in a dark world. What better time to illuminate a new and better path?
Loving on Me as I Love You! Hugs and Blessings ❤
Jeannine B says
Another great message! I always say, ‘what you think of me has absolutely no influence on what I think of myself.’ It’s sad to simply meet the expectations of those who don’t know the totality of your persona. We owe it to ourselves to be our best!
katrinamcghee says
Thanks Jeannine! We do indeed owe it to ourself to be our own personal best. Continue running your own race!! ❤