Everyone is up in arms about Miley Cyrus’ performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. CNN even has an article asserting that her performance “sets girls and women back”. Really? To where have we been sent? Seems to me we never really evolved beyond this place.
Miley is just the latest in a long list of entertainers that use over-sexualized hype as a form of self-expression. Shall we call the roll? Let’s see there is Madonna, Britney Spears, Madonna and Britney together, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna. Don’t like any of those? How about Elvis Presley with his grinding hips? Was he too not selling sex?
The more things change the more they stay the same. Has the “vulgar” behavior gotten worse? Not really. Were there not “bad influences” when we were growing up? Of course! Our access to information may make it seem like the issue is getting worse, but what is likely increasing is our understanding of the infamous words of our parents – when you become a parent you’ll understand.
As a Mom, there are two things that I’d dearly love to see happen. First, that someone with authority would tell every underdressed child, Put. Some. D@#n. Clothes. On. – Punctuating each word so the meaning is not missed. Second, that network television executives demand that entertainers – male and female – be fully dressed when performing.
But, neither one of those are likely to happen. You know why? Because outside of Monday Night Football and a couple of performance reality shows nearly all of the top 25 television programs from last season include a sexual undertone. So in actuality, we’re not really outraged by the “sexiness” of this woman-child. We’re just terrified that our babies will become what entertain us.
So how do we, in the words of Chris Rock, keep our daughters off the pole? How do we instill in all of our children values and a sense of self-worth? The same way our parents did – by being parents.
Studies galore confirm that when it comes to our kids, we remain their greatest influence. Unfortunately, there are a few of us so busy trying to be their friend that we forget to be parents.
We could learn a lot from the advice given by old school Mommas. You know the ones I’m talking about – they had eyes in the back of their head, a look that could stop you in your tracks, and a way of saying things that was both complimentary and corrective.
- When your skirt was too short: That outfit is so cute! Where’s the rest of it?
- When you thought you were going to wear the daisy duke shorts you snuck and bought: Honey your pajama shorts are so cute, but you know you can’t wear those outside.
- When your dress was too short: Girl that shirt is too cute! Did you forget your leggings?
- When your pants were sagging: You look nice son, but your pants are falling down. You need to borrow a belt?
- When you had on too much make-up: Wow! Look at that make-up. Are you trying out as a clown in the school play?
You all probably have some of these memories too! In the moment, we thought our little world was coming to an end. We’d be so embarrassed to go meet our friends, with our chaste little outfit that our parents allowed us to wear out of the house. But you know what? We survived and we’re better for it.
There’s something to be said about setting standards for our children, expecting them to carry themselves with class, dignity and self-respect. They may get irritated in the moment, but they generally learn to live up to our expectations. And just like we did, they’ll be back to thank us for it later.
A half-naked entertainer ain’t got nothing on the love and direction of a good Momma and Daddy! I know it gets tough but stay strong and stick with them. Our beautiful children are worth every wrinkle, every gray hair, every headache and every sleepless night. Weren’t you? ❤
Jeannine B says
“A half-naked entertainer ain’t got nothing on the love and direction of a good Momma and Daddy!” AMEN! Good parents let you know that no matter what others are doing, you are not them! That’s leadership 101. Sad that so many people nowadays don’t experience that life.
Patricia McGhee says
Amen!!!! to it all.
Keesha says
Yes, yes,yes!!! We love to blame others for not being responsible in our own “house.” How many turned the performance off when Miley started doing her “thang?” As we have more access, parents have to pay more attention because it is tough to keep up with all that is going on… I pray for all who are responsible for a young life!!!