I always wanted to be a mother and a wife. I wanted the proverbial white picket fence. I grew up in a loving Christian home with two sisters and a brother with my Mom and Dad. As close to perfect as one could imagine. Never in my wildest thoughts did I consider that my life as a woman and a mother would twist and turn the way it has.
I went to college believing that I was not smart enough to be there. I figured the reason I was accepted into a top Texas university was because my parents prayed for hours sitting outside the school where I took my ACTs. I worked really hard to get out in 4 years, just like I was supposed to which fell right into my perfect life plan. After school, I worked hard at finding a job too. I really wasn’t looking for a career…I just wanted to get off my parents payroll. I had a boyfriend that was to be my husband and I figured he was the man, head of household, the breadwinner. He would have the career and I would have a job until we started a family. Well, he struggled to have the career, while every job I took seemed to elevate me further as an executive leader and would eventually bring me to get an MBA and a C-Level job. My two beautiful children were born and I began to realize that it would be me that would have to support the family. My perfect plan was unraveling slowly. I wanted to be Betty Crocker dammit!
The turning point in my life was the marathon. Running my first (and last!) marathon changed my life, and my children’s lives, forever. I trained for almost seven months. I have always participated in team sports throughout my life but I had never conquered any individual challenge like this before. I committed to doing this for myself before I turned 40 mainly because I wanted a personal goal to achieve at that milestone birthday, despite the headwinds in my family life. The night before the marathon, my husband took my kids to a monster truck show. He returned that night drunk, with my kids in the car. I wish I could say that this was the first time he had driven drunk with them. However, he had driven my 3 and 6 year old many times over their lives while intoxicated. I could no longer pretend to keep up appearances and I confronted him. He became enraged. He camped outside my bedroom refusing to allow me to leave when it was time for the marathon. I laid on my bed crying, then listening, then praying and begging for guidance on what to do next. I can still feel my fear from that night. I packed a bag, waited for him to fall asleep and left. As I ran through each mile that next day, I watched in awe as strangers cheered me on. “Go Robin! You Can Do it! Way to go!”. I thought, “‘Wow, look at all of these people encouraging me, cheering for me and they don’t even know me. These people believe I can finish.” I was tired. Tired of forcing a perfect life, tired of working so hard at something that would continue to drag me down, compromise my children and their futures. A close friend said to me, “Have you ever squeezed sand in your fist? The harder you squeeze, the more sand you lose.” So, after the marathon I quit trying to squeeze my way to the white picket fence.
When Mother’s Day comes around each year now, I become increasingly grateful for not forcing myself to be Betty Crocker. I can make delicious cupcakes for my daughter’s birthday party and lead a team of young people at work. I get to play hooky with my son and head to the beach. My house is sometimes a complete mess but other times is nice and tidy. I do my very best as a mother, a friend, a leader, a coach and as a daughter. I teach my children to do their very best too. Life is short and we must be who we are or spend our life figuring it out. Either way it won’t be perfect. I am having a pretty fun adventure just figuring out me with all the imperfections…I like being myself more and more each day.
Robin Norton Ahearn is a mom and a chief marketer who will never run another marathon! She spends most of her time outside of work with her sweet, kind daughter (8) and fun, gregarious son (11). They like to spend time together and with friends, hang out at home, travel, snow ski, hike and play at the beach and the lake…anywhere the sun takes them. Robin has been in marketing leadership roles for over 20 years. Her favorite part of her career is encouraging, coaching and leading the growth of young people, especially young women, into the lives and careers they were meant to lead.
yvonne crum says
Robin.. you said it best.. Figuring out Me. That’s the greatest gift of all .. figuring you out your way.. I say anyone that has ever run marathons…is ACES in my book.. it shows desire, dedication and tenacity.. kudos to you.. enjoyed your story.. my best and Happy Mother’s Day.
Linda Norton says
Fabulously written – from your heart – your children will always benefit from having a beautifully dedicated mother who is raising them to love themselves and look to God for the right path He chooses for them to follow. What a blessing for our entire family. Happy Mothers Day 2013. ❤
Alice Pullin says
Robin – you are an incredible young lady with many great accomplishments. You are raising two wonderful children while being so very successful in your career. God bless you for following His directions for your life even though it was not your “perfect” plan. We love you, Lauren, and Christian – God Bless you and your family!
mrscrystalgking says
Robin, you kept me on the edge of my seat as I was reading! What an amazing journey! You are a very strong woman and your story will strengthen and encourage other women who face various challenges that require fearlessness in much the same way. Thanks for opening your heart to share:-)
Suzann :) Breed says
What a beautiful transparent sharing of your personal journey. I was so blest to get to hear your heart through the gift of your writing. I know God will continue to bless you and grow you as you become the woman He has created you to be. 🙂