There is no such thing as work life balance. That news will either be a disappointment or a great relief to the millions of us who’ve been chasing it for most of our adult lives.
Why do I say so? Well, that’s simple. A part can never be equal to the whole – unless of course there is only one part. And in the case of life, there are many, many parts. Our family and friends, our faith, our philanthropy, and our fun are all important parts of our life. So the real question we have to ask ourselves is not how do I balance the parts, but how do I become a balanced person?
We’re all busy. Doesn’t matter if we’re a mom-in-charge, entrepreneur, student, corporate executive, professional, or a street sweeper. It seems we’ve all got more to do than there are minutes in the day. As much as I believe in the power of saying no, there are times when simply cutting things out of our schedule isn’t that simple.
So instead I offer 3 tips for tipping the scale in favor of our sanity.
First, Live according to our priorities. Investing our time in what’s most important to us is the surest way to be in balance with our being. It’s probably also the hardest and yet most important principle for our lives. Let me share a story that may help.
While working at the American Heart Association I had the opportunity to apply for a Vice President position. I was in my early 30’s, ambitious, and had grown fairly rapidly in my career. I was also a single mom who traveled a lot. When it was time to submit my paperwork, I decided not to apply. Leadership was so shocked – I was a favorite for the job. But you see, I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t give American Heart any more of my time. My priority was my son, and we had sacrificed enough of our time together already. So I let this opportunity pass by and made peace with staying right where I was and being happy about it.
Now I know this may rub many who are aggressively pursuing success the wrong way. We believe jobs should accommodate our dynamic family situations. That having children, and being an involved mom or dad, shouldn’t stop us from pursuing our career aspirations. Well, that is true. Becoming a parent doesn’t suddenly make you unqualified, uncommitted, or illiterate. You are still the same smart, dynamic, sassy woman you were before you gave birth.
But, I didn’t make the decision because I couldn’t do it. I made a choice about what I wanted to do. I decided how much of my time I wanted to invest where. Yes, I could have taken the Vice President position and my son would likely have turned out just fine. But I wanted to go to his football games, know his friends, attend school functions and have a career I enjoyed. Those were my priorities, and because I chose what was right for me I was balanced.
Second, Establish some boundaries. I don’t take calls before 8am. It’s not because I’m asleep. It’s because I don’t want to talk to you. I love you, but between 6-8am I am loving on me. That’s when I read, write, pray and meditate. I need those moments to start my day off calm and centered.
Listen, there’s a party going on in my head most of the time. Ideas zing around like it’s the Grand Prix. If I don’t take a few moments each day to capture my early morning thoughts I have a hard time focusing for the rest of the day. It’s just the way I’m wired and I don’t bother trying to fight it. Instead, I protect myself by allowing me to prioritize me for a few precious moments each day.
You are important. You deserve your own love. You are worthy of your own time. Give yourself what you need to be successful by making a date with you. Protect that time like you would your most precious asset, for indeed your sanity is just that.
Finally, Embrace a spirit of abundance. Our pursuit of success will sometime lead us to believe that every opportunity is the only opportunity. But in reality, we know that’s not true. Life is full of possibilities. We don’t have to be afraid to make decisions based on our priorities because we fear the good will never come around again. Every season of life offers a cornucopia of opportunities. And the Universe has more than enough to sustain us. Most important, God has a plan for our lives and it is good. What you have, and who you are, is more than enough.
Living according to our priorities helps us make peace with the fact that every area of our lives will not get equal time. But because we’re choosing where we want to invest our time and where we’re willing to sacrifice, we stay in balance.
And for those of us still on a guilt trip about how much time we did or do spend with our family – let it go. Even if we spent every waking minute of the day with those we love it would never be enough. Life only lasts for a little while. Do the best you can, while you can, and give God the rest.
Be happy, be healthy and be in balance. You can do it!
Loving on Me as I Love You! ❤
Jennifer Jensen says
Thank you for this post, Katrina!
katrinamcghee says
You’re welcome! I’m so glad it spoke to you. Please share with friends as you’re moved. Hugs!
Adine Zornow says
I completely believe in this and I was recently speaking to young people about jobs and someone asked me a “work life balance” question. I laughed and told her it did not exist. I think I shattered her bubble and she went on to say she wanted kids, a great job, marriage, etc. I told she could do all those things plus some but maybe not all at the same time. I also told the class that if they ever had time to sit down with their bosses or mentors to not waste energy on this question this question.
I did suggest they use a balance wheel, not sure if that’s the legitimate name of it but its a good tool for life balance, projects, etc. It’s a shape of a wheel on a bike and you make sections like a pie and list each section as the things most important in your life: family, friends, health/fitness, spiritual, work, etc. then you rank them 0-10, 10 being the highest you feel good about that area in life. It can really help people visually see what they may need to focus more on during any given time in their life and how they can strategize to get there. I think people also need to be more kind to themselves because their are times in ones live that other things will get a greater priority. Lots of people say “life is short. Growing up my dad used to always “life is long”, I think that was his way to say its not a sprint, but rather a marathon so relax and enjoy the journey. Often times people talk about “work ethic” and that’s great but I truly believe we should focus on a “Life Ethic”…you have to think about the whole pie, not just one slice and that’s not for my job or anyone else to decide, I chose!
Thanks for this great post, absolutely loved it!!
katrinamcghee says
Thanks Adine! The wheel is a great way to visualize your priorities. Appreciate you leaving a comment. All the best, Katrina
Crystal King says
I’ve always loved your perspective on this subject!!! I’ve been living by it for some time now and I’m much happier:-). Our careers, jobs, companies, etc. will be here when we no longer exist- or as happens often these days- when we’re no longer needed. My family on the other hand will always be there and love me unconditionally; making them my #1 priority. Makes me say “ahhhh…” (Yep, that was a sigh of relief.) Brilliant perspective Ms. McGhee!
katrinamcghee says
Yay! I’m so glad it’s working for you. Please share this message with your friends and family. We hold the keys to set ourselves free. Thanks for leaving a note to encourage us! ❤
Doreen Grant says
This is such a a wonderful gift. Thank you.
katrinamcghee says
I’m so glad it blessed you. You are most welcome!