I woke up and there it was – a rainbow, a promise of God’s love. I felt the tears sliding down my face as I had a quiet moment of worship and thanksgiving. I could feel God’s kiss from heaven, surely as if He was standing there holding me in His arms.
It had been a long night. I was up until 2am and now up again at 7, but you wouldn’t hear me complain. This was a day for celebration, for at long last the book was complete. The manuscript I had prayed over, cried about, and often wanted to chuck out the window was finished. Every cell in my body was exhausted, and yet I was saturated with a sense of euphoria. Because I knew the book’s end was a reflection of the work God had completed in me too.
For more than two years God wrung me out, wrenching from the depths of my soul words I had no intention of saying out loud. Unbeknownst to me, when I started on this writing journey, He and I had very different perspectives on the message I was to deliver. His intentions were for His glory and the growth of His people. Mines were about, well, my own.
Throughout the writing process I found myself frustrated and confused, as we argued about where to go next with the story. Well, I argued. He sat quietly while I went in circles, chasing my own thoughts and trying to find a work around to whatever was keeping me stuck in place. Sometimes I could pray my way through, as God brought my mind in sync with His message. Other times…I’d come to a hard stop. Man, there were times I wanted to flat-out give up. Move on to something less complicated, just so I could get a sense of achievement. But my spirit would not let me rest. I knew there was something God had given me to birth, and it was only meant to stay inside for so long.
So when the book was finally finished and I woke up to that rainbow, I couldn’t wait to share my good news with the world. I posted a picture on Facebook and shortly after, a friend saw it and sent me a note asking if it was a double rainbow. I said, Yes, isn’t that doubly sweet? She wrote back two words – double blessings. And that’s when I remembered, and cried my little eyes out. Because in the midst of my tears and tantrums, when I had cried out to God in frustration over what had become the “stupid” book, I made a promise and asked God for something in return – I will not give up. I will not quit. I will finish the work you have started in me. All I ask is when this is finished you give me double for my trouble, double for my trouble and then some.
That phrase “double for my trouble” became a part of my silent prayers, as over and over I asked God to give me the strength and determination to keep going, and not give up. As I looked again at the photo of the double rainbow, I realized God had heard me. He heard my cries, and answered my prayers with a beautiful sign from heaven, assuring me that He had been listening all along.
I know some of you said, well of course. God is everywhere, and always hears our prayers. But can we be real for a moment? Sometimes we pray about things and hear nothing back. I mean silence so loud it is deafening. God stays quiet for so long we think He’s forgotten all about us. Or we forget what we even asked for. But I just wanted to pop by today to give you a message of hope – In the midst of our worry, our suffering, our angst and our fears…God hears our prayers, and he understands.
He’s concerned about every aspect of our lives, and even when we can’t see Him, He is working behind the scenes. He knows we’re struggling, and how much it hurts. He gets that we’re frustrated, and ready to move on. He sees that we’re trying, and just want to push through. He’s not ignoring us, nor has he given up on us. So please…don’t give up on Him.
As a sister who has just gone through a season of prayer, silence, surrender and victory – I get it and understand. Let me encourage you to keep your trust in God. Keep seeking His counsel, and patiently wait for His response. He will finish the work He has started in you. He will give you the strength to keep going, and the perseverance to see it through.
Psalm 30:5 says, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Hold on for your rainbow friends! He hears our prayers, and He understands. Hugs and Love ❤
PS – My heart goes out to all of you in the waiting season. I have just offered the prayer below for you. As you feel lead, will you share this prayer and post to encourage others? Every now and then, we all need a reminder that He’s listening and He cares. I’m thinking of you and praying for you often!
Lord help us understand that even when we don’t hear you, you’ve heard us; that when we can’t see you, you’re still working behind the scenes; and even when we can’t feel your presence, you are never far away. In Jesus name, Amen