I don’t know about you but as I wind down each year, I turn inwards and reflect on all the blessings, hardships, triumphs and struggles of the previous 12 months. Did I accomplish all that I wanted to accomplish? Did I treat people better than they deserve? Did my children get what they needed and subconsciously get what they wanted? Did my actions cause others to want to come closer or drift farther from me? I am not someone who has many regrets, but I do seek to find ways to improve my circumstances and in turn, improve the circumstances of the people around me.
This past year I took some risks, personal and professional, starting a business, falling in love. What did it take for me to take the leap? People ask me sometimes, “Wow, that was risky? What made you decide to do that?” I was at my son’s middle school performance today. Each group had to write, direct and act in their own play. As I watched the kids perform, I thought how stressful that must be for each of them. Each person had to make a decision to get over their fears and get up there and just do it. They took a big risk. And so it is with life. We all have those moments, where we have to muster all of our courage and just do it. How did I do it? Well, first I ask myself these important questions before I take a big leap:
1. What is my end goal? What am I trying to reach for? This is very important. In the marketing world, we always have to see the end before we create the process or the path to the end. Objectives always come first. Sometimes we think, “I don’t like my job” or “I want something different for my kids”, but we really don’t know what it is we want. Last year, instead of saying, “I’m tired of this job” I said, “I’m ready for a new challenge”. You must get clarity on what you really want before you can take too many steps forward.
2. What is reasonable in making my objective happen? Sure, I would like to lose 20 pounds in one month, but that is just not reasonable. When I decided to approach my employer about starting my own business, I created a proposal with a reasonableness lens at every step. Would they really let me take part of my team with me? It is possible I could get fired for asking to do this? What would I do if that happened? There are lots of questions to ask yourself, but be reasonable. Don’t go crazy.
3. Do I care if others care? The most important thing about making something happen for yourself and taking risks is that you know that you, and only you, made the decision. I was afraid to put myself out there for a relationship. It took me a long time to truly “be in it”. But once I did, because I knew I deserved another chance with someone, I knew that it wasn’t because my kids needed a dad, or because all my friends were married, but because I was happy with him and deserve to be in a solid relationship with a man who is a great match for me (and super fun to be around too and not to mention, the best Dad). I know it’s right and that’s what I need to know.
4. Who is impacted by my decision? A few years back, I really struggled with the decision of what to do with a stock option payout that was coming my way. Looking back it seems ridiculous, but I was struggling with whether to buy myself a new SUV or go back to school get my MBA. I had two small children (I mean small, newborn and a 3-year-old), my husband was an alcoholic, I lived out in the country and had very, very little support. At first glance, I really needed a new car. And who has time for school with work, a husband and two kids?
So once I wrote it all down (pros/cons), and got real with myself, I realized this: I will be the person financially supporting this family. I will be the one that my children look to as their role model for success. I will finally look in the mirror and be able to say, “I am smart and I will succeed”. And guess what, I got that MBA and got that car too. And now there are more people that I can count that were impacted in a positive way for making the decision to extend my education.
As 2015 approaches and 2014 is on our rear view mirror, ask yourself what risks are you willing to take to be a better version of yourself. As my significant other likes to say, “There is a reason your windshield is bigger that your rear view mirror.” Reasonable risks, no regrets. Happy New Year!
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