Do you value yourself enough to say no and wait on the right man to cherish, adore and love you for you and not be seen as a one-night stand, a sexual encounter that is limited to only one or a few occasions? Do you value yourself or resort to the “hook up” – have sex with someone, not the “one”? Then there is the “booty-call”, a late night call to arrange a sexual meeting on an ad hoc basis. Why can’t we make a man wait?
Why is it so hard to value who and what we are as women? Women hold great power in this world, and lest we forget, we give birth to men. So, with that said, let’s not cheapen our worth for short-term gratification. You are worth more than a man’s desires, and even your own. Sex is not a spring board to a relationship. It clouds the vision and can stunt the growth of relationships. Sex is an expression of love, not the other way around.
If women held out to get the best from a man without adding sex as part of the package, collectively women would call more of the shots, and marriage would be on the table faster than you could spell it. Sex begins to complicate a relationship that is out of wedlock because emotions begin to run rampant. During sex, an emotional and physical investment has been made. When a woman gives her body to a man, she is giving him one of the greatest gifts God has given her.
Women must understand the difference between true feelings and oxytocin, which is referred to as the bonding hormone. It is believed to be critical in human pair bonding. Oxytocin is a powerful hormone. When we hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels drive up. It also acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. In fact, the hormone plays a huge role in bonding you to that man you become sexually involved with in your life. It is released during sex. So, when you decide to bond with that man, nature also helps you out. This hormone boosts trust, empathy and increases happiness in women. It also reduces stress and anxiety.
Having sex at the onset of a relationship can be confusing when oxytocin begins its march through your body. This might be the reason some women cannot let go of a man when he calls it quits, or keys his car, follows him home or to work, or calls a man’s wife if they are having an affair. It makes you a little crazy because hormones are telling you this “man belongs to me”, even though he does not.
Women are special creatures. God has told us this. Yet, we allow a man to take us down, lie to us when we know they are lying, and have sex with them even when we know they are married or have other girlfriends.
What is the extent of our value as women in human society? When women become so desperate they become an object, no longer a person to be respected, then we have regressed on the scale of growth and self-actualization. Women must be present to understand they are a portal to empowering other women. Our sense of our own worthiness is necessary in order to attain love, peace, joy, power and a sound mind.
Our worth comes from a source on the INSIDE of us. We create it through faith by acting on the singular belief that we matter. It is the foundation of our ability to believe in ourselves. When we believe that we are and can be change agents in the world, we respect ourselves as well as our fellow sisters and what belongs to each of us. We are so much more than a sexual act. What is your love worth?