Ever notice how we tend to ignore the important by obsessing on the obvious? I think it must be human nature, constantly focusing on the effects without ever searching for the root cause.

I was reminded of this last week when a recent blog about learning to accept how God made us morphed into a discussion about why we wear “fake hair”. On the one hand, I was happy to see us debating about what it all meant, and where the line was between enhancing what God gave us and covering up low self-esteem. But what bothered me was that after the dust settled there seemed to be this lingering question of whether enhancing our looks meant we didn’t love ourselves.

It rolled around in my brain so much that It got me to thinking, what does it really mean to love on me? I didn’t want to just pop off with what first came to my mind, so I pondered on this for a while. You see we spend so much time on surface issues that it’s often difficult to address concerns that are at the very essence of our being. But to get to the heart of a matter, it’s where we have to go.

As I meditated on how to respond, it became clear that it all begins with our beliefs…

• I believe I am a beloved child of God. He created me, and said I am good. He instilled within me a divine purpose, and has a plan for my life beyond what I can imagine. Because I believe that…

• I value myself, and thereby train others to do the same. I do not allow people to abuse or misuse me. I am precious in God’s sight and therefore in my own. Because I value me…

• I embrace all that I am, and know that I am enough. I was designed to be unique, so I don’t allow others to narrowly define my existence according to their standards. Because I embrace me…

• I am confident enough to explore a life of abundance. I don’t worry about the status quo. I was created for the extraordinary, and trust God to direct my path toward my purposeful destiny. Because I am confident…

• I choose to love others. In fact, because I have learned to love me I delight in it. Sharing God’s love with others is my highest calling, and in it I find my greatest fulfillment.

This is the root of Loving on Me – a core belief about who we are, and why we are here. It’s not about what we wear on our heads, our hands, our feet or any place else. In fact, the confidence that comes from loving you allows you the freedom of expression to just do you. And, in learning to love others you let them do the same.

So here’s the skinny – Wearing wigs or weave, nail polish, or make-up doesn’t mean you have low self esteem, and not wearing it doesn’t mean you are more fully evolved and love you more. It’s time we let go of all of that thinking, and let the main thing be the main thing!

We have to go deep to get delivered. Going round and round about the outside of ourselves is like chasing shadows – you can run real fast but you ain’t gone catch nothing. Learning to love you is an inside out job. If we heal what’s broken on the inside, it will take care of how we feel about the outside.

I know it’s not easy. Our programming runs deep, having been fed by years of other people’s opinions, standards and ideals. We can quickly take our focus off of being whom God made us when it seems to fall outside of someone else’s norm. But the good news is we were not created to live up – or down – to anyone else’s expectations. This is between you and God, alone.

If you feel like you’re at rock bottom, start with baby steps. When you look at yourself in the mirror, quietly affirm: “I am a beloved child of God. He created me, and I am good. He loves me, and I love me too. That is enough.” It may not seem like much, but the truth in those words can set you free. Say it until you mean it, and then say it some more…until the words are written in your head, and cherished in your heart.

For all of us, learning to love ourselves is a journey. I struggle sometimes, too. As happy as I am with my life, there are still some areas where I’m building confidence and learning to trust. That’s why I’m so grateful I have you as a traveling companion. On days when I’m just not feeling it, I look to you for inspiration. I pray you receive the same encouragement from me. Day by day, together we grow.

Loving on Me as I Love You. ❤

PS – Here’s a little India Arie to dial-up our confident glow! Turn it up loud, and let the music minister to your soul. Peace and Blessings!