{"id":256,"date":"2012-10-08T21:02:08","date_gmt":"2012-10-09T02:02:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/katrinamcghee.com\/?p=256"},"modified":"2017-04-03T11:50:48","modified_gmt":"2017-04-03T16:50:48","slug":"are-you-living-in-your-regrets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/2012\/10\/08\/are-you-living-in-your-regrets\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Living in Your Regrets?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I am living my life with NO REGRETS<\/strong>! Doesn\u2019t it feel great to say that? It makes us feel like we\u2019ve evolved to a higher plane when we shout to the world that we regret nothing. And yet, the truth is we all have something we wish we hadn\u2019t said or done, and well, isn\u2019t that pretty much what regret means? I looked it up in the dictionary and the official definition is \u201cto be sorry about, feel contrite, feel remorseful and sad.\u201d But for me it simply means, CRAP! What the HELL was I thinking?<\/p>\n

I remember when my son was 7 or 8 years old we had one of these moments. It was a special day, although I can\u2019t remember what was special about it, and yet typical. It was early in the morning and we were in a rush. We lived in a fairly small house with 3 bedrooms, but only 1 bathroom. This particular morning, Brandon spent a LOT of time in the bathroom. When he finally comes out I run in to shower and shave my legs only to discover Brandon had used all of my shaving gel to spray a note for me on the shower wall.\u00a0 I was so upset! I\u2019m already running late. Now I can\u2019t shave, have to switch outfits AND clean the wall BEFORE I LEAVE.<\/p>\n

I know you\u2019re judging. Man, she is SO mean! I would never act like that with my kid. (Uh huh, okay) Don\u2019t get me wrong. It was cute and all, but when you\u2019re a parent on a tight budget and living on an even tighter schedule sometimes the clarity, patience and gratitude to accept these moments as the precious gift they are just eludes you. You\u2019re still tired when you get up, have another full day ahead of you, and can really only handle the norm. It\u2019s a pitiful excuse, I know, but it\u2019s just the reality of the way we live. Too much to do and not enough time to be.<\/p>\n

I can still see in my mind Brandon\u2019s crestfallen face. He had invested his whole self in doing something wonderful for me and I blew it. Dang it! This is my baby whom I love most in the world and I didn\u2019t get it right. Over the years, this incident has come to my mind many, many times. I don\u2019t dwell on it, but the painful memory taught me a valuable lesson about taking a deep breath so that I can respond, not react.<\/p>\n

You see that\u2019s why I don\u2019t believe the notion that a person can live life without regrets. We all screw up! We are imperfect creatures living in a far from perfect world. There are moments we\u2019re going to wish we could take back, days where we hope beyond hope for a redo. But life\u2019s not like that. The only path available to us is forward.<\/p>\n

Instead of saying I have no regrets, I\u2019m learning to look at regrets as lessons for the road ahead. I can\u2019t do it over, but I can do it better next time. Regrets also set the stage for one of the most powerful of human experiences \u2013 forgiveness.<\/p>\n

Forgiveness will ease the pain of regret, but all too often we like to wallow. We stew about our bad choices, convene a pity party, and complain to our friends until they no longer want to be our friends. Why? Because when we are wallowing we don\u2019t have to work to get on the right track, to make change, or to make amends. Instead, we just stand still waiting for a way to go backwards to appear, hoping we can magically make whatever we did wrong disappear \u2013 along with the guilt keeping us up at night.<\/p>\n

But, here\u2019s the deal. Living requires forward momentum. The peace we seek isn\u2019t in constantly looking back, but in embracing our future. However, the first step to getting there is often the hardest.<\/p>\n

Forgive you and allow yourself to be forgiven.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are lessons in abundance in how to ask for forgiveness. Most of us have that by now. Our problem is in accepting it. The hardest person for us to forgive is ourselves. And yet, this is what keeps us stuck. We beat our own selves over the head for so long it\u2019s ridiculous. Half the time we lose sight of what we originally felt bad about. And the person we\u2019ve wronged? Sometimes you look up and they have long since gotten complete and moved on. (Because they got tired of waiting for us to get over ourselves and apologize, they forgave us and set themselves free. Hmm\u2026)<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m making a change. Even though we\u2019ve been programmed to believe that guilt is a form of penance and unless we carry it in some form at all times we are not decent people, I am learning to LET IT GO! God has given us the incredible gift of forgiveness. If He can forgive me (He will), and other people can forgive me (they will or they won\u2019t \u2013 I don\u2019t get to decide), then guess what? I FORGIVE ME!<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can do it too! It\u2019s a conscious act of will daily. It\u2019s not a one-time thing. There is no blanket generality that we can chant to be free of years of guilt. But day by day, when you find yourself fixated on what you should feel bad about or what you wish you could change, gently say to yourself:<\/p>\n

I cannot go back. I wish I could change it, but my power is in the here and now. I CHOOSE to move forward as a better person. I am sorry, but I am not stuck. God, please help me to live with my hands wide open so that I can let go of what I don\u2019t need and take hold of the good you have placed around me.<\/p>\n

I am not perfect, but I AM ENOUGH!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes, I have regrets, but I will not wallow. I am taking my lessons and moving forward into my bright future. I hope I see YOU in the sunshine.<\/p>\n

Loving on Me as I Love You!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am living my life with NO REGRETS! Doesn\u2019t it feel great to say that? It makes us feel like we\u2019ve evolved to a higher plane when we shout to the world that we regret nothing. And yet, the truth is we all have something we wish we hadn\u2019t said or done, and well, isn\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":12349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sharing_disabled":false,"switch_like_status":false,"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[204998052,204998050,114917237],"tags":[71131,204997597,29367968,204997555],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/istock_000017992677small-1.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eAxC-48","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=256"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8902,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions\/8902"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}