{"id":1417,"date":"2013-11-10T21:36:13","date_gmt":"2013-11-11T03:36:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lovingonme.com\/?p=1417"},"modified":"2017-05-19T10:01:12","modified_gmt":"2017-05-19T15:01:12","slug":"are-we-raising-the-bar-or-reinforcing-the-negative","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/2013\/11\/10\/are-we-raising-the-bar-or-reinforcing-the-negative\/","title":{"rendered":"Are We Raising the Bar or Reinforcing the Negative?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Expect<\/a>I will not act a fool with you or because of you!<\/i> That\u2019s the refrain that played over and over in my head last week as I sat at the Apple store, waiting for my iMac computer they had promised would be ready an hour and a half earlier.<\/span><\/p>\n

Silently smoldering I dared not open my mouth, else the ire that had built up over the many days of intolerable customer service would have come spewing forth like a mighty geyser. No one would have had a clue what finally sent me over the edge. All they\u2019d have known was that I\u2019d lost it.<\/p>\n

I sat tapping my foot until 20 minutes after the store closed, when a young man finally brought my computer out. I appreciate your patience, he said. I heard this has been quite a journey for you. Thank you for being so calm.<\/p>\n

Calm? I had prayed so hard for patience that I think God may have temporarily sedated me.\u00a0 I looked at him and said, Oh, I\u2019m not going to get upset and lose it. I am, however, going to follow-up with someone to document the experience. This has been the worst customer service I have ever received from Apple.<\/p>\n

Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks. \u201cOh, good. Well I\u2019m glad you didn\u2019t lose it. Because that\u2019s how they expect us to act.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now because he and I were both African-American, I assumed he meant that\u2019s how they \u2013meaning his white team members \u2013 expect us \u2013 meaning black customers \u2013 to behave. To yell, scream and cause a scene when things have gone too far.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not me, and not for the reasons he suggested. As tired as I was I turned around to look him square in the face and said, I could care less what they<\/i> expect. Acting up would be below my<\/i> standards of what I expect for myself.<\/p>\n

He looked so surprised it actually made me chuckle. As we started walking toward my car he finally looked at me and said you know what, good for you.<\/p>\n

Driving home, I was so grateful that I had stayed calm throughout the whole ordeal. Believe me, I take no credit for it. But for the grace of God I would have told them just how I felt using words I\u2019d later regret. And truthfully if I told you the details of my experience, you\u2019d probably say they deserved it.<\/p>\n

But look what an opportunity I would have missed had I lived down to someone else\u2019s expectations! For a whole host of reasons, that young man needed a fresh perspective. And I\u2019m so grateful God chose me to be the messenger.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, we forget that we are all role models<\/b>. Indeed, our very lives are to be examples of love, joy, peace and self-control. But there are moments when people will take us there. I mean to the very edge of our sanity. \u00a0The question is what will we do when we get there?<\/p>\n

Now I have to be honest. This is not always my strong suit. It takes a lot to get me to the edge, but once I\u2019m there I\u2019m about 60\/40. 60% of the time I can handle it with dignity and grace. The other 40% of the time I have to ask for forgiveness.<\/p>\n

I know I need to work on it, and I am. But I believe in being honest about our struggles, especially my own. Because until we learn to love ourselves, as we are right now, we haven\u2019t a prayer of becoming our better selves.<\/b><\/p>\n

And like all of you, I want to be better. I want to be a light bearer and a peacemaker, a living example of God\u2019s love. And despite all of my shortcomings I believe I can, because no one can \u201ctake me there\u201d unless I get on the train.<\/p>\n

This whole situation reminded me once again that even in the midst of negative circumstances we have the opportunity to be a positive influence. By living up to our own standards, rather than down to the expectations of others, we can raise the bar for everyone around us.<\/b><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not let someone else\u2019s foolishness cause us to act a fool.\u00a0 In the midst of chaotic circumstances, let us be the calming force that changes the course. After all, we are to be the light in a dark world. What better time to illuminate a new and better path?<\/p>\n

Loving on Me as I Love You! Hugs and Blessings \u2764<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I will not act a fool with you or because of you! That\u2019s the refrain that played over and over in my head last week as I sat at the Apple store, waiting for my iMac computer they had promised would be ready an hour and a half earlier. Silently smoldering I dared not open […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":11539,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sharing_disabled":false,"switch_like_status":false,"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[204997546,114917237],"tags":[291,50659,4007,204997786,3785,122792808,104575,57820],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/expect-better.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eAxC-mR","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1417"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9083,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1417\/revisions\/9083"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovingonme.com\/2017\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}